Noted Judge: He put up my dog.
Respected Judge: He put up my dog twice.
Shown sparingly: Only when the judge was in our pocket.
Show prospect: Four legs, two ears, two eyes.
Finished CH in 5 shows: and 89 others where he didn't place.
Limited showing: The handler is suing to collect his fee.
Pointed: Head like a carrot.
Owner-handled to title: Big pro handler got first 14 points, first 2 CCs.
Won in heavy competition: All were 20 pounds overweight.
Multiple group winner: At two puppy matches.
Guaranteed to finish: If you have $10,000 to spend.
Specialist Judge: Puts up anything that looks like his old pooch.
Well-Balanced: Straight as a stick, front and rear.
Lots of Pizzazz: When he's had his uppers.
Super showman: Hysterical.
Terrific angulation: Cow-hocks, east-west front and rear.
Excels in soundness: Bears absolutely no resemblance to his breed.
Excels in type and style: Moves like a spider on speed.
Personality plus: Wakes up if you stick liver up his nose.
A showing fool: Hysterical, and stupid, too.
Large-boned: Built like a Clydesdale.
Good bite: Missed the judge, but got the steward.
Excels in movement: Outruns anything this side of the Concorde.
Lovely head: Two eyes, two ears, one nose.
Gorgeous coat: If the spray doesn't war off in the ring.
Handled exclusively by: Nobody else can get near him.
Won in stern competition: Beat 4 puppies and a 10-year old.
At stud to approved bitches: Bring your checkbook.
Great line-breeding: Ch. Whatsit is twice in the 5th generation.
Good hip background: Haven't heard about any limping dogs.
Obedience prospect: Just don't bring him near the breed ring.
Great stud dog: Will breed anything from the neighbor's cat on up.

This was taken from the UK Dog Forum list Topic no 00336 22 July 1997