The Doggie Humor Collection

Ferdinand's Christmas


On Christmas eve's day there was a surge of activity in the little house . The family wire fox terrier felt he was being somewhat overlooked . The wonderful odours coming from the kitchen were intolerable , and he tried persistently to draw attention to himself and to his very hungry tummy . First he tried to scratch his moms legs- but he was gently pushed aside . Then he tried to sit behind her and tried to look as sweet as anything- but still she showed no reaction . Then he sat down on his bum and tried to wave with his front paw and he started to bark ."Be quiet"he heard this busy woman mutter .

Then he tried to lift both front paws , lifted his head backwards and he howled so it went right to your soul .Mom picked him up by the skin of the neck and angrily threw him out into the corridor and closed the kitchen door behind her . He crept over to his favourite armchair and sulking lay down and grumbled something that sounded like"mistreatment of animals....stupid human beings ...there is absolutely no justice for a poor,sweet wire fox terrier puppy....!!!!!"

He slept a couple of hours , his stomach still rumbling with hunger , being teased by those gorgeous smells coming from the pork roast and simmering duck and other tempting things in the kitchen.

Suddenly he was abruptly woken by the noisy snake machine that always irritated and attacked him when he was in his deepest sleep . He jumped off the arm chair and pounced on the snake that sucked everything off the floor . He barked and he attacked the snake machine but all to no avail .Again and again he heard his mom shout"for goodness sake stop it , ferdinand ,let me Hoover in peace". The noise was deafening and the machine attacked every corner of his favourite carpet .He didn't want to admit it but he was really afraid of the monster, but he was prepared to protect his home with his last breath of Life . He barked and he pranced , and he bit into the long , cold tube , that suddenly lifted it's neck just as Ferdinand had managed to get a proper hold of it with his teeth . And there he was swaying through the air hanging by his teeth.

Mom had had enough .She turned off the hoover ,took Ferdinand and threw him out into the garden.

"goodness, how wonderful." It was white all around and this white substance was covering everything . Like a mole Ferdinand dug his way into this white strange substance- and he rushed around the garden . This white stuff could be eaten- but oh! it was very cold!!! Some of this white stuff stuck to his paws and to the hairs on his legs and suddenly it wasn't so much fun any more . He tried to wave it away but it just stuck to his paws and legs and belly .In the end he crept freezing to the door and started barking"let me in" . After a short while someone let him into the warm house and suddenly this white stuff changed into water, so he started drying himself energetically in the carpet.

Then he tried to get back into his warm armchair and tried to sleep tired from the fight with the hoover and the experience of the snow outside in the garden

. He had just fallen asleep when he was again disturbed this time by Dad, who came into the room with one of the garden's trees!!!!!

"I don't believe it"Ferdinand thought"Now they have really gone crazy. What in heavens name do they want with one of my trees,which I have been watering and taking care of for so long?"

The tree was put into the corner and Dad started emptying out boxes with coloured balls which one by one he started to place on the tree.

Ferdinand sat at a safe distance and looked at all the red thingimebobs. He walked cautiously to one of them and sniffed seeing his reflection in the ball ."I wonder whether they are dangerous?"he thought, as he pounced back quicklyfrom the object,but curiosity got the better of him and sniffed one of the other boxes . Deciding this was not dangerous he sat down watching his Dad . "This is going too slow"He thought" I had better help Dad!!!"so he jumped over to one of the boxes, gently took one of the coloured balls into his mouth and was just about to hand it to his Dad when he heard a scream"put it down- let go"Frightened out of his wits Ferdinand let the ball fall out of his mouth, jumped to the side and sat down again!!!!

Dad had problems reaching the furthest branches in the corner and Ferdinand decided again to try and help him- he ran to the tree and grabbed the branches dad was trying to reach with his teeth and....the tree collapsed over him in a huge thundering noise.

What happened after that Ferdinand cannot remember. It all went so fast with a lot of shouts and Dad running after him screaming"damn dog!!!!" Ferdinand thought"this is great we're playing who's it"and he ran as fast as he could BUT was caught by Dad- who wasn't at all happy. Ferdinand was smacked on his bum and placed in his favourite chair.

"Now, you stay there"Dad hissed very angrily . During the next hour he lay as quiet as a mouse watching Dad erect the tree again, and redecorating it . He didn't leave his place when Dad came in shortly after with a whole lot of parcels which he placed below the tree . He didn't dare move until Dad was finished and went into the kitchen to talk to mom leaving Ferdinand alone . That was the excuse Ferdinand needed to get up again,curiosity killing him to see what those parcels were in aid of .One of them was very big and rattled when he poked it with his nose.

"I wonder what is in that packet"Ferdinand thought and he had just gotten hold of it with his teeth and was just about to take it to his favourite chair when Dad got hold of him and threw him- minus the parcel - into the bathroom ,where the door was locked and the light was turned off.

Ferdinand lay on the warm floor very upset.What on earth had he done wrong?He had after all only tried to help!!! A little later he heard the door bell ring and then he heard Anne's and Bo's voices . Everybody sounded so happy and so carefree...and they had all probably forgotten him !!!Nobody loved him . They were going to send him back to the kennel or even worse- he would die of hunger!!!!!!...because they had forgotten he existed .Terrified he started to scratch on the door . He barked and he howled- but it just didn't seem to help!!! THEY HAD FORGOTTEN HIM!!!!Sulking he lay in the corner, giving up , put his paw over his nose and closed his eyes sighing in a resigned fashion"that's it- I give up!!"

Suddenly the door opened and in the ray of light coming from the sitting room he saw Mom standing with open arms smiling calling him"come on little Ferdinand!" He jumped into her arms, wagging his tale and tried to lick her all over her face.

She carried him into the kitchen and placed him on the floor in front of two huge bowls full of Christmas dinner and next to them a huge chewy bone with a ribbon round it.

Dad, Anne and Bo were standing there too and they all chimed"HAPPY CHRISTMAS FERDINAND!!!!" "they are crazy"Ferdinand thought, but without making any attempts to try and understand the whys and what fors he attacked his feed with a vengeance!!!

Dr. Geraldine Rankin D.V.M. Ireland
Scanwyre Fox Terriers



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